


Hard To Say I'm Sorry

by xxjinchuurikixx



Series: Ballads [3]
Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Aftermath of Violence, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Comfort, Established Relationship, M/M, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Stupid Wade, apologizing with music, selfless Wade
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-01
Updated: 2020-03-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 07:53:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22966483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxjinchuurikixx/pseuds/xxjinchuurikixx
Summary: Chicago is here to help Wade apologize for being a moron.
Relationships: Peter Parker/Wade Wilson, Spideypool
Series: Ballads [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1237820
Comments: 5
Kudos: 61





	Hard To Say I'm Sorry

**Author's Note:**

> The Ballads continue. Unsurprisingly, much of this series is either angsty or steamy. This one is the former. Sorry!
> 
> xo, mo. Come yell at me on tumblr! [xxjinchuurikixx](http://xxjinchuurikixx.tumblr.com/)

Peter’s not sure how he always ends up scolding Wade, but… well, there they are. Seeing it on the news was bad enough, but coming home to find Wade still healing… fuck.

“That’s your problem, Wade! You don’t think what you did was wrong! If you don’t realize you’ve made a mistake, you can’t  _ fix _ it!” Peter yells, and Wade raises his hands defensively.

“Peter—“

“ _ Don’t _ .”

“Come on, Peter. You can’t—“

“Yes, I can.”

“I  _ healed _ .”

“Wade, that’s not—you don’t—“Peter halts and screams, clawing at his hair. “You can’t just throw yourself at bombs anymore! If you don’t come home—“

Wade grabs him by the shoulders, feeling Peter shake in his hands. “Hey, I  _ always _ come home.”

Peter makes an exasperated sound, shaking Wade off of him with his super spider strength. Wade is startled when that strength starts shoving him at the door. “Just get out.”

“What?”

“ _ Get out _ . Go somewhere else, I can’t deal with this right now.”

“Peter, baby, you don’t—“

The door creaks when Peter rips it open, and he shoves Wade into the hallway, eyes glistening brightly. “ _ You _ don’t. You don’t think before you play with fire, Wade, and I can’t mentally or emotionally handle trying to explain it to you.”

He slams the door and kicks the lock into place. Wade’s keys are in the bowl with his, and Peter slides down the door and puts his head in his hands.

He can feel Wade through the door, feels the weight of his body shifting as he leans against it. “ _ I thought you’d be proud of me, _ ” Wade says very quietly.

Peter sighs, pushing his face into his knees, wrapping his arms around them.

After a while, it’s quiet, and Wade is most definitely gone.

It’s not that Peter wants to cry. He just sort of starts to, shuddering and whimpering into the crook of his knees, sniffling into his jeans.

Even four years into their relationship, Wade is still making reckless decisions. Peter understood when they got together Wade wasn’t just going to stop being a mercenary, and he wasn’t going to stop getting shot and stabbed and generally maimed. Peter knows Wade doesn’t actively go looking for trouble and danger—no, wait. He does.

Wade’s purpose in life is very carefully entwined with danger and death, and even if Wade didn’t die, he still threw himself at a bomb.

_ I thought you’d be proud of me. _

Yeah, Deadpool saved a bus full of kids by getting his entire abdomen blasted open, but did the kids understand that the way Peter did? Did Wade realize Peter wasn’t as good at handling seeing Wade in pieces as he used to be?

It was never easy, but the more Peter fell in love with Wade, the less it was about not being able to stomach such grotesque destruction and more about not being able to see Wade soaked in blood, missing limbs, in  _ pain _ despite what he might say otherwise. It was less easy when Wade did something good and got punished by the universe for it.

Peter exhales, shuddering, and wished he could take a pole and smack the sense right into Wade. If he could throw himself on bombs and save little kids, he would do it, but no? Because he has Wade, and Wade would throw a bitch fit if he came home and Peter was bleeding through an old sweatshirt and missing an arm.

The double standards made Peter sick.

There’s a crackling noise from inside the bedroom, then a floorboard creak, and a soft ‘fuck’.

Peter lifts his head, prepared to yell, when the music starts up.

_ Everybody needs a little time away, I heard her say, _

_ From each other. _

_ Even lovers need a holiday, _

_ Far away from each other. _

_ Hold me now. It’s hard for me to say I’m sorry. _

_ I just want you to stay. _

Peter sits upright, his chest growing light as he inhales a huge, steadying breath. The feeling in his hands returns, and he sits for a moment longer.

_ After all that we’ve been through, I will make it up to you. _

_ I promise to. _

_ And after all that’s been said and done, _

_ You’re just the part of me I can’t let go. _

Peter scrubs the heel of his hand under his eye, failing helplessly to fight the soft smile off his face. He pushes up to his feet, the sudden flow of blood aching just a bit as he starts towards the bedroom.

_ Couldn’t stand to be kept away, just for the day. _

_ From your body. _

_ Wouldn’t want to be swept away, _

_ Far away from the one that I love. _

When he leans into the doorway, fingers tentatively scratching along the doorframe, Peter feels all the anger bleed from his body, replaced with adoration and exhaustion as he sees Wade sitting on their bed.

He’s in a soft, frayed sweatshirt and shorts, scars on display, his Deadpool suit discarded in the bloody “work” hamper. Peter is amazed he managed to get changed without making more noise. He looks at the record player on the dresser, spinning slowly, as if in a daze.

_ Hold me now. It’s hard for me to say I’m sorry. _

_ I just want you to know. _

_ Hold me now. I really want to tell you I’m sorry. _

_ I could never let you go. _

Wade clears his throat, scratching one hand over the other. “I really am sorry, baby boy. I realize what I did… it wasn’t the brightest idea. And I should think, even for a second, before I just charge into danger. Because… well, because I’ve got you.” 

Peter crosses the small distance between them, coming to stand between Wade’s spread knees, cupping his face in his hands.

Wade sets his hands on Peter’s waist, not pulling, just holding. “I was just tryna protect the little ones.”

“I know… and you did.”

“I’m sorry. I’ve never really thought about… how you’re always waiting for me, wanting me to come home safe. But nothing on this earth or in all the alien worlds could keep me from you,” he promises. “If I get blown to bits or kidnapped by space pirates or blasted to the center of the earth, I’ll come back. No pain or distance would keep me from you, Spidey. I promise, I’ll be more careful, but I need you to understand, my line of work isn’t supremely safe cubicle time. Even if something horrible happens, it won’t be horrible for long.”

Peter sighs, running his thumbs over Wade’s scarred cheeks. “I understand. And… I know, I overreacted. But it makes me so scared when you put yourself in danger, that maybe one day something will come along that you can’t heal from.”

“No such thing in any universe,” Wade says. He quirks a brow at the fourth wall. “Just yet.”

“Right, not just yet,” Peter says, smiling. He nudges his forehead into Wade’s. “Promise me, you’ll be as careful as you, Wade Wilson, can be. I won’t ask for anything more. Just bring the pieces home, and I’ll take care of you.”

“I promise I’ll be more careful than I’ve ever been,” Wade says. “Cancer careful.”

Peter frowns at him, then pinches Wade’s stomach, hard.

“Ow!”

_ After all that we’ve been through, I will make it up to you. _

_ I promise to. _

_ And after all that’s been said and done, you’re just the part of me I can’t let go. _


End file.
